Dear Heart, You Screwed Me

Dear Heart, You Screwed Me by Ashlee Rose is a spicy romance book that follows the relationship between Reese Hernandez and Killian Hayes - she's a 27 year old woman from England who moves to New York to take on her dream job after the most devastating loss she has experienced and he is a 45 year old man who is the owner of the company she goes to work for, the owner of the building and apartment she lives in and her best friends dad.

This story is funny, witty and is sad at times. It deals with some heavy topics such as grief and loss and how to navigate through that even years after the event. It also focuses on a solid friendship with a lot of love and adoration at the core along with some hurt and betrayal and the way the emotions are conveyed by the characters is beautifully written.

The descriptions of the characters, cities and where they live and work is done in a way that it's clear to visualise it without being overwhelming. As a visual reader, I love descriptions like this as I can get clear ideas of what people and places look like without being too distracted from what is going on round about the characters and the story.

The friendship between Reese and Connie is comical and lovely. They instantly become fast friends - Connie works in the restaurant in the hotel that Reese is staying at - and the way their friendship blossoms is so organic that I truly believe that the love story in this book isn't just in a romantic sense. Having a good solid friendship is pivotal for most people and I like how Reese isn't portrayed to be the overly popular girl but instead as a really solid and great quality friendship with Connie and the way they navigate things together shows a good level of maturity despite their 6 year age gap.

Another relatable thing I liked in this book is Reese turning up to her job to find that the job she had applied for was actually on the backburner a little and she was just a glorified assistant to her boss Adele who took great pride in using Reese to do the work she wasn't interested in. Adele seems to be jealous of Reese, especially when she realises that Reese and Killian, the owner of the company, may know each other and she likes to make Reese feel small and inadequate so she can feel superior which is a common thing in many corporate worlds.

Killian Hayes is a billionaire bachelor and he loves his daughter and also her best friend. The little interactions between Killian and Reese before we get to their relationship are quite cute and funny and gives that sort of romcom feel. Imagine you move to a whole new city and are sitting in the champagne bar of the swanky hotel your new company is paying for, in your joggers and a tank top and a bottle of good champagne is bought by a stranger and sent your way and the note says you look like you needed it. Then the next day as you're strolling around the park, the very same man who sent the champagne comes and sits beside you and makes small talk and then leaves. The next day at work, the last person you expect to see sitting in your boss' office is that very man - Mr Killian Hayes.

Reese and Killian don't have a conventional relationship and it is very much lust at first sight for them both. He's the out of bounds owner of the company and she's the new hire tasked with landing a hot shot client in a matter of days to actually get the chance to do the job she was hired to do in the first place. She was also warned off of Killian in a round about way by her boss Adele who advises no relations with clients or investors. Now Killian and Reese ignore Adele and suddenly a fun night of drinks and food results in them waking up in Reese's place the next day and they are married.

Now they both know the marriage was a drunken mistake and the sensible adult thing to do is to get it annulled and not consummate the relationship. Simple right? The romcom feels throughout the book are highlighted more so in these moments because now she has his ring on her finger, Killian is determined to keep what's his and lo and behold, the marriage annulment meeting is pushed and pushed while they consummate their relationship over and over again.

The possessiveness of Killian is done well in the fact that it's not overbearing or makes him unlikable although at times he is frustrating and you want to just grab him and shake him. He is a fiercely protective man over his family and that extends to Reese even after their eventual annulment. They become good friends as they both now know they have a relationship/connection with Connie and neither of them want to hurt her with their feelings of lust for each other.

Killian decides that it is a risk and he wanted to try to give things a go but when Reese advises her dream is to be a mother and her plan all along was to go and have a baby on her own, it throws any chance of a relationship into question and the journey this leads them on I think really shapes the characters.

It just feels that there is a lot going against them rather than for them at this point and so you're just rooting for someone or something to make the first move and say we're doing this and that's exactly what we get. Unfortunately, Reese and Killian's relationship is revealed to Connie in a crazy way and it sort of shifts the dynamics in the friendship for a bit but I loved seeing this as it brought out that vulnerability in all three characters instead of just one and it was nice to see how the other characters coped with emotions and hurt and betrayals.

When things start to look up, a misunderstanding has the power to ruin things and when we realise just how deep that the truth that needs to be revealed is I was absolutely shocked and was so surprised. I always like to guess plot outcomes or what will happen with certain characters and their subplots but the two twists that came in this book I honestly could not see coming and I am still shocked by it but in a good way. I love a book that grips me and has me thinking we're going one way and throws an absolute curveball.

There's a lot of miscommunication thanks to meddling people who should mind their own business in the story but when more of Killian's back story is revealed, it makes this story so much more than just a spicy romance. It is about grief & loss, betrayal & hurt and love & friendship and all the layers that each of those things bring into your life. The ending of this book makes the twists, turns and turmoil all worth it and I think we see the characters grow at such a good pace that nothing feels forced or just thrown together.

Overall I rated this book 5 stars on Kindle Unlimited and I have also listened to the audiobook on Audible. The reason for my rating was because the book made me feel happy and laugh at a tough time and also let me sit in those sad emotions when I needed to. All I ask from a book is that it allows me to connect with the characters and feel empathy towards them but also draws me into the world so it feels like I am actually there and this book achieved that almost instantly. This was also my first introduction to the author Ashlee Rose and I honestly cannot recommend her work enough.

If you would like to read the book for yourself, it can be purchased on Amazon or available to read on Kindle Unlimited. If listening is more your thing, the audiobook is available on Audible as well - I will link below:

https://amzn.to/47FsxBb - Dear Heart, You Screwed Me - Paperback https://amzn.to/3G2oX8B - Dear Heart, You Screwed Me - Audible Edition

https://amzn.to/47wDTHS - Dear Heart, You Screwed Me - Kindle Edition

The Audible and Kindle Editions are available to purchase on their own or can be redeemed using 1 Credit with your Audible membership and read for free using your Kindle Unlimited membership.